I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
