You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
