Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
and she was petting her beer can
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Randomize
