They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
