Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
