So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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