Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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