So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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