I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
