my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
