it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
