From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
