Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
