i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
