buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
where are you?
Hypothermia
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
