she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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