He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
