either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
