It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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