I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night�
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
