Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
