i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
