please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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