my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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