Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
