Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
You are the jesus of drinking
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
