Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
