Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
time to smoke my breakfast
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
