idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I am never drinking with the goths again.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
