we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
