he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
