I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
