he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
