I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am one with the molecules
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
