i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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