I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
