Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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