Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
