It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
