doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
