He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
