What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
