So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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