I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
