Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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