Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
