shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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