so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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