love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Someone shit on the floor
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
