My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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