She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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