We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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