A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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