he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
