I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
