im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
