I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
