If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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