oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
